Some people are inconsiderate and oversensitive. They need to be right and, when things go wrong, they blame everyone else.
Reality TV shows may love such people but, in real life, they’re hard to work with, hard to live with and exhausting to be around. Why? Because they lack emotional intelligence.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EQ) includes many traits necessary to succeed in life and build good relationships. It includes:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills.
People with a high EQ can:
- Identify their feelings
- Work out what those feelings mean
- Manage the way those emotions affect their behaviour
- Manage how their feelings affect other people.
That’s a big deal. In practice, it may mean:
- Taking responsibility when you’ve forgotten to do a task
- Apologising when you’re in the wrong
- Listening when someone talks about their feelings rather than rushing in to ‘fix them’
- Handling criticism maturely rather than storming out of your boss’s office
- Calmly setting and enforcing limits when your child misbehaves rather than yelling, screaming and having a tantrum yourself!
Why is emotional intelligence important for children?
Research shows that a child’s social and emotional skills at the age of 5 may predict their chances of success in life.
In 2015, American researchers published the results of a study that examined children’s social and emotional skills in kindergarten (1991-2000) and then followed up 13-19 years later to see how the children had fared in life. Kids who showed strong social and emotional skills at the age of 5 proved more likely to:
- Complete high school on time
- Attain a college degree
- Have a full-time job by age 25.
Clearly, emotional intelligence is important. Thankfully, like other skills, it can be taught and learnt.
What is social and emotional learning?
Social and emotional learning helps children develop the ability to care for others, make responsible decisions, establish positive relationships, and handle challenging situations.
As they grow from babies to schoolkids, children are constantly learning at a rapid pace. This goes far beyond learning their ABCs. It’s about developing:
- A strong sense of self – including feeling good about who they are and what they can do
- Emotional skills to identify and manage their emotions
- Social skills to help them get on with others.
Families and early childhood educators play a key role in supporting children’s social and emotional learning by:
- Creating an emotionally secure environment that includes affection, warmth, consistency, eye contact, smiles and laughter
- Responding to a child’s requests or signals – such as stopping a tickle game when your baby has had enough
- Helping children name and express their feelings in appropriate ways
- Demonstrating social and emotional skills – such as seeing mistakes as a way to learn or saying sorry when you’ve hurt someone
- Entering into an emotional world through stories, games or imaginary play.
Emotive language in action
As you can see, emotional intelligence requires the ability to identify feelings. That’s not always easy though. Sometimes, feelings seem so big and confusing, especially for little kids.
Emotive language helps children identify and name their feelings. You can even match some feelings to a typical facial expression like a frown or smile. A quick internet search should identify many different emotion wheels or emotion cards you could use to help your child become more familiar with emotive language.
Download a set of emotion cards
How can we help?
At Think2Be Healthy, we want to help you raise an emotionally resilient generation. Kids who understand their feelings and can manage them so that they can feel life’s joys and navigate its sorrows in strong relationships with others.
If you’d like to access more tips, please subscribe to our newsletter.
Disclaimer
All information is general and not intended as a substitute for professional advice.
References
Mental Health America, What is emotional intelligence and how does it apply to the workplace? https://mhanational.org/what-emotional-intelligence-and-how-does-it-apply-workplace, [Accessed 15 March 2024]
Jones DE, Greenberg M, Crowley M. Early Social-Emotional Functioning and Public Health: The Relationship Between Kindergarten Social Competence and Future Wellness. Am J Public Health. 2015 Nov;105(11):2283-90. doi: 10.2105/AJPH.2015.302630. Epub 2015 Jul 16. PMID: 26180975; PMCID: PMC4605168. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4605168/, [Accessed 15 March 2024]
Beyond Blue, Social and emotional learning, https://beyou.edu.au/fact-sheets/social-and-emotional-learning, [Accessed 15 March 2024]
The Spoke, Social and emotional learning, https://thespoke.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/social-emotional-development/, [Accessed 15 March 2024]
