Growing responsibility: Chore options for kids at every age

Pause a moment and imagine your child as an adult. Can they cook or do they live on instant noodles? Do they clean up after themselves or do they assume their flatmates or partner will do it? Can they wash their clothes and look after themselves and others?

The Magic Coffee Table provides a humorous glimpse
into what it’s like to live with someone who never learnt how to do chores

Here are some positive reasons your kids can benefit from simple chores.

Chores can help your children to:

Learn the skills they’ll need to become responsible, considerate adults
Discover new hobbies like gardening or cooking
Feel capable
Develop the ability to persevere at difficult tasks or do ‘boring’ things because they’re necessary
Learn teamwork
Practise their negotiation skills – at some point, they’re bound to suggest “doing it later” or something similar!

Believe it or not, kids’ chores can also (eventually!) contribute to a happier family life. After all, someone has to do the chores. If the kids don’t pitch in, then the entire burden falls on already overworked parents. That’s a recipe for resentment.

It can also lead to conflict. You’re understandably more likely to snap at your kids when you feel overworked and taken for granted. Maybe, it’s better to address the underlying issue and make sure everyone helps at home.

When chores are shared between all family members, in age-appropriate ways, the jobs are done more quickly. That leaves more time left to enjoy being together.

Clearly, chores are good for children and can ease parental load. So, what household chores should your kids do? And how do you encourage them to get on with it?

Age-appropriate chores

Chore expectations should be matched to your child’s age and ability and to the needs of your household.

Chores vary considerably. Some need to be done every day, some once a week. Some can be done quite quickly, others take more time. And some are definitely more enjoyable than others!

As your kids become more capable, they can build on their earlier experiences to tackle more complex chores.

*Age*	*Children’s chore chart*
Chores for toddlers & preschoolers	Young children can help you to: Put their toys or clothes away Set the table Carry dishes back to the kitchen Put groceries away.
Chores for 5-year-olds to 10-year-olds	Primary-school-aged children could be increasingly responsible for: Tidying their bedroom Watering plants Feeding pets Folding laundry Helping to prepare meals Emptying the dishwasher.
Chores for teenagers	Teenagers can build on skills already learnt and develop new skills for adulthood through chores like: Cleaning the bathroom Washing the car Walking the dog Making their lunch for school Vacuuming and mopping Washing their clothes Running errands Cooking a family meal once a week Loading the dishwasher.

Motivating kids to do chores

Getting your kids to do their chores isn’t always easy. You can encourage them by:

Praising your kids when they do their chores well and with a good attitude
Thanking them – let them know how much their work helps you
Working alongside them to help pass the time – while they unload the dishwasher, you could be doing something else in the kitchen and talking to them about their day
Helping them fit their chores into a routine – e.g. unpacking their lunch box as soon as they get home or tidying their room every weekend
Having a chore chart on the fridge so kids can mark when the job’s done (it can be quite satisfying!)
Emphasising how chores contribute to independence in later life.

Some parents motivate their kids by paying them for chores. Others argue that kids should not be paid for simply contributing to family life. Other families land somewhere in the middle – kids do unpaid chores to contribute to the family but can earn money for other, larger jobs like cleaning the car.

You know your kids best and know which lessons you’re trying to teach them at each stage of life. That said, it may be wise to ensure there are some mandatory duties that kids don’t get paid for. You want them to understand that everyone contributes to the family (and to the wider community) simply because it’s the right thing to do.

So, what do you do if your kid refuses to do their chores? Talk to them about it and find out what’s going on. Then decide if you can adjust anything based on your child’s feedback or if you need to restate your expectations or set some consequences. If you pay your kids, you can withhold the money. And with older children, you could let them face the natural consequences, such as not having a clean football uniform because they didn’t wash it.

How can we help?

At Think2Be Healthy, we love helping to create strong families and communities where every person can thrive. That includes helping children contribute to family life. If you’d like to hear more from us, please subscribe to our newsletter.

Disclaimer
All information is general and not intended as a substitute for professional advice.